I had a boss once whose modus operandi was to hurl objects at his team if he was displeased.

I got hit by his heavy leather work bag one day. It cut my ear and made me cry in front of the whole office. My crime? I couldn’t convince a celebrity chef to throw himself out of a plane at 10,000ft.

Yes, this was when I worked in TV, an industry which self-selects some of society’s most narcissistically disordered personalities. Or, to give them their correct label: WANKERS.

I understood his frustration that day. I was really disappointed in myself that I couldn’t make the celebrity chef hurl himself out of a plane. What I didn’t understand then was that my head wasn’t his real target; he was actually aiming for his insecurities, that insistent voice inside his own head which told him maybe he didn’t have any talent after all, maybe he wasn’t as great as he’d hoped, maybe Daddy was right all along.

This darkness could also drive him to embarrassing levels of self-congratulation where he would leap up onto a chair and punch the air with a ‘yessssss come ON Donald!’ (His name wasn’t Donald, I’m calling him that for a really clever reason).

Referring to yourself by name is a classic sign of Wanker Disorder. When things got tough he would sit at his desk, repeatedly banging his fist into his forehead saying, ‘come ON Donald…THINK’ before remembering he had minions to use as target practice and chucking a pen pot at someone.

Another symptom of Wanker Disorder was how, during team meetings, he would single out someone for a bit of ‘hilarious’ banter about their personality faults: ‘Oh Anna, is this going to be another one of those moments when you try to make us all laugh in the hope we won’t notice your lack of actual talent? Am I right, guys? [nudge-wink-snigger]. Am I right?!’

It didn’t matter. We were only making a TV show. Imagine if someone like Donald held some real, actual power? Like, over people’s actual LIVES?

Here we encounter Donald #2 who this very day is essentially throwing his work bag across the planet, aiming for the head of another fella with Wanker Disorder. This follows some ‘hilarious’ banter about the other fella’s personality faults.

How can we understand this dangerously mental behaviour?

My extremely intelligent fellow blogger/psychologist, The Psy of Life, has awarded Trump a three-part psychiatric diagnosis. The predominant disorder is Narcissistic Personality Disorder, which is surely no great surprise. But the Psy finds Trump also scores high on two additional anti-social disorders:

1. He is ‘unproductive’ with poor executive functioning, planning skills and impulse/emotional control.

2. His personality is ‘malignant’; he has a penchant for revenge, vindictiveness, cruelty, sadism.

And he is IN CHARGE OF THE WORLD RIGHT NOW.

Do pop here to read the Psy’s full diagnosis with smashing examples of each symptom from the last couple of weeks of Trumpism. The best is his reasoning for why Trump publicly hates on Jeff Sessions so much (because, as a malignant narcissist he must humiliate and degrade anyone who suggests he might be crap, especially if they have the power to expose him as actually crap and end his career).

My Donald fired me in the end, despite me managing to get the chef to jump out of the plane after all.

His malignant narcissism made him feel threatened by another producer, a really talented, creative film-maker. So he manipulated a situation to try to get this guy fired. Donald sent me with the talented producer to film the chef jumping off the plane. The talented producer brought his (lovely) girlfriend along for the trip. We had a great, drunken time.

Back at the office, Donald calls me in and says he’s heard about the girlfriend and didn’t I think it was highly unprofessional and inappropriate for him to have brought her along? I didn’t, but somehow he got me to agree that it was. He fired the talented producer.

The next day Donald called me in to say the rest of the team felt they could no longer work with me after what I did to the talented producer.

The day after that the talented producer called me to say it wasn’t my fault, Donald had personally insisted he take his girlfriend on the shoot.

When a narcissist feels threatened they become dangerous and will do almost anything to protect their need for superiority. If they have a finger on a very important button, they need to be not just sacked, but sectioned.

Happy End of the World, guys!

Let’s just have a drink about it…

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