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Welcome to Feel-Goodish Friday, where I am lightening up at the hair salon and trying to write with wonky specs coz I can’t get them over my ears for all the foil.

It’s a hot look. Nothing makes me feel more attractive than spending two solid hours gawping at my own tired reflection.

But it must be done because I have spoken to my new grey hairs and told them: yous can DO ONE.

When all is in flux, one must hold on to some familiars. I need to feel as much like my normal old self as possible. This means: hair done, face done; clothes on, fag on; wine in, crisps in; book out, smile out.

And BREATHE…

So to business.

Three things happening in the world today which might make us feel goodish:

1. Booze and coffee are good for us. Danish researchers have found that people who drink booze 3-4 times a week are less likely to develop type 2 diabetes than our sober friends. Especially if we sink wine because that’s good for our blood sugar levels. Meanwhile, aย myth-busting review has revealed that 400mgs of coffee a day (4ish cups) makes us lovely and alerty without causing any negative side effects. Which finally proves the cause and effect theory because we all know wine-drinking leads to next day coffee-caning, the difference is that now we can feel totally goodish about it.

2. Napping makes you clever. Researchers have identified that a 15-20min daytime nap is ideal for refreshing your mind and increasing energy/alertness. 30-60mins might make you feel a bit groggy but is worth it for the memory boost. 90mins will offer you a complete sleep cycle which you’ll need if you’re not sleeping at night.

What a time to be alive! All my bad habits are turning good at last!

3. Threesomes are not all they’re cracked (sorry) up to be. Two women in Germany are in hospital after a threesome with a fella went tits-up (so not sorry). The first woman toppled 10ft from a balcony just as she reached climax, breaking bones in her feet and legs. Her naked friend ran downstairs to help her, slipped and broke bones in her arms and neck. As far as we know, the fella’s boner remained perfectly intact (never been less sorry). The lesson: do not have a threesome on a balcony in Germany. Useful info…

And so to the awards…

This week’s award for Outstanding Public Feel-Goodishness goes to: all you trans legends whose many battles are far from being won. Trump tweets ignorant bile, you tweet back with epic style.

The award for Outstanding Personal Feel-Goodishness goes to: YOU LOT. For all your words after yesterday’s post which made me walk right out of the pity party I’d been (drinking heavily) at and into a…well, a far less pitiful party, (albeit one where I am still drinking heavily).

My favourite comment, I think, was in response to my Tinder reference about me surely being a ‘swipe left’ kinda candidate (aka: no ta very much). On my facebook page someone wrote: ‘you are SO NOT a swipe right!’ Which made me laugh for its brutal agreement of my undesirability. She quickly corrected it with: “*LEFT! I MEANT LEFT!’ Which made me laugh even harder.

Another said she was here for me anytime as long as her fella wasn’t working, playing football or on the loo. That’s my kinda supportive friendship.

And a fella told me that it will all be utterly shit for ages, but my eyes looked amazing in the pic, which was just ๐Ÿ’™.

Ah, you guys…I honestly don’t think I could get through this shizzle without you.

May your weekend be filled with as much coffee, booze and napping as you desire. Just remember that when it comes to sex and balconies, three’s a crowd…

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