I live in a bubble; a liberal West Coast bubble.

Over here on the left-hand side of our British Isle, where the wind doth blow muchly and the rain doth pour wetly, we have blown ourselves the most ginormous bubble in which to live without having to notice people who are more crap and stupid than us.

Over here in my bubble, the inhabitants are properly educated, more cultured, have been on a plane at least once and know what a Pulitzer Prize is.

Recently, I have heard talk of there being folk who are living right next door to me and yet are not co-habiting with me in my bubble. These are ignorant arseholes. These people eat bad food and come from poor families where the only entertainment is football or martial arts (WHICH ARE NOT ART – duh!). These people have never been to university or even ever been to the theatre. Some people believe this makes them ‘real’ and that they know more about ‘real life’ than me, even though I shop at Poundland and have watched a documentary about prostitution in Leeds.

Do you live in a bubble? 

If you’re not sure, simply consult the right-wing media who will inform you immediately of whether you are a liberal, elitist loon or a normal person. Remember, these bubbles of liberalism exist right across the globe but seem most prevalent in the UK and America where modern politics and the media are insistent that you either be in or out of a bubble so they know how easy it will be to lie to you.

You may be surprised to learn that you live in a bubble. There you are, living quite okishly and freely among the people of your community, some of whom may not have been to university. Some may have a disability, or be poor, some may be Muslim, some may even be *gasp* FEMINISTS (and some of those feminists could even be *bigger gasp* MEN!) and all this time you had no idea that because you went to college and don’t mind black people you are living in a bubble and are therefore prohibited from having any opinions because you don’t know how it really is out there.

You are especially banned from saying anything about how things really are if you are a Hollywood actor. Nobody outside the bubble gives a goddam golden globe what they think.

But the worst place to live right now is inside the bubble when by rights you should be outside it. You should have been denied access to it because you are deemed to be one of the decent, poor, white folk who live in the real world and are desperate for the liberal elite to ‘do one’.

If you don’t understand your place as firmly outside the bubble then the lies haven’t worked on you. Somehow, despite your lack of education and opportunity, you have seen the truth about the current rise of right-wing politics: that the only people living in a bubble are the ones who suffer from ignorance.

The people in this bubble (let’s call it the Bigotry Bubble) may believe that black people are stealing their jobs, that every muslim is a terrorist and that Obama has AIDS. But you? You somehow have worked out that the new administration have manipulated that fear and ignorance simply to serve their own political needs.

How did you manage it?!

One of these liberal bubble immigrants is Charles Clymer. An American veteran, he was born and raised in poverty in Texas. He is a classic Trumper. Except he isn’t. Clymer won’t have it that the real problems in America are all because liberals aren’t being nice to racist twats. He reckons it might be because the racist twats have been elected by manipulating morons. (His term, not mine).

Streep did her thing, but Clymer wins my award for the best anti-Trump speech last night. (You can read it here).

The only bubble I want to live in right now is a speech bubble.

Do join me.*

Together we can blow a GIGANTIC speech bubble and take over the world!

* Bring wine