Oh dear.

Am grotesquely hungover.

I went out with other mums last night. It was uncharacteristically warm up here so we sat outside, so I smoked ten thousand fags with my bottles of wine. Forgot to take the e-cig. By which I mean I consciously unconsciously left it at home.

Not content with being unable to walk home properly from the bar, I wisely invited everyone back to mine, so they could wake up the whole house and also the whole street.

At this point I was staggering attractively all over the garden whilst making epic points about how sexism today is so awful for our daughters but isn’t it lovely when a fella beeps his horn at you? I was also definitely making sure everyone else could get a word in edgeways.

Best thing – my boss was out with us, so now she knows for sure how seriously I take my job because I’m about to spend the next three hours trying not to vom on small babies while singing The Wheels on the Bus without clapping please coz it hurts.

I blame yesterday’s post. All that talk of safe spaces and triggers kinda…triggered me. I’d written a lot of really personal stuff which I then removed because it was getting too long and I thought it was boring, but all eve it was swilling round in my mind, mixing with the very shit but very expensive wine and making me do things like tell my boss how to run her company and also flirt outrageously with a lovely gay fella.

I shall now attend to the hangover by imbibing a gallon of full-fat coke and a Snickers bar.

Maybe I should post the personal stuff next week…

Happy weekend guys. May it be filled with lots of drinking responsibly. I know mine will be…