Oh how simply GLORIOUS it is when two people so alike, so perfectly matched in humour and outlook, join forces for the sake of our entertainment.

Think Morcambe and Wise, French and Saunders, Schofield and Gopher. My comedy partner is Rioja…I am nothing without her.

And now, we have the joyous new comedy-duo of Farage and Trump: ‘Farump’.

Farump are a perfect match because neither of them understand the teeniest bit about politics, both want to ‘smash the establishment’ (clarification: the establishment = Big Banks and Big Business, but NOT the Big Banks Farage made a fortune working for or the Big Business Trump has made a fortune in), but most importantly, they are both so ENTERTAINING!

At a rally last night, in front of 15,000 Republicans, all ecstatic to be able to vote for an actual reality TV star at last, Trump gave Farage the kind of hero’s welcome he normally only gets at Britain First meetings. (For those who struggle to identify humour, that was a JOKE. Of course Farage has never knowingly attended a BF meeting).

In return for the intoxicating public adoration, Nige had shaved off his funny blighty-army moustache, sensitive to the fact that comical hair is Trump’s USP. In any successful comedy partnership you can’t both be the fat one, both be the pretty one or both be the daft-hairy one.

Of course this rule doesn’t apply to our most powerful partners in crime – I mean politics – who often resemble each other uncannily…

Blair and Bush (Blush) had a special relationship that resulted in the same hair, the same smile and even the same war crimes!


Pinochet and Thatcher (Pincher) had the same love of sparkly bling and civil oppression!


Hitler and Himmler (Hitler…oh…) had the same moustache, the same hair and the same desire for mass murder! 


If it turns out that Farump actually ARE serious about politics and not just being the pair of jokers they seem to be, they would do well to adopt a more homogeneous look, like maybe both wearing middle-class/middle-aged suits and both being deeply tanned…oh shit…