A lot of stuff happens that I don’t understand. A lot more stuff gets said by other people who understand things I don’t understand. Then there’s the stuff I absolutely understand, until I realise I don’t. After all that, I am left with just few things I can be absolutely certain of…we must NOT mess with these precious, knowable things. We must not listen to people who attempt to change them (especially with the vile hope of ‘improving’ us). We must hold on to them as if they were (in my case) the last case of Rioja in town.  My list of absolutes are:

1. That I will ALWAYS finish a bottle of wine

2. Ditto a fag

3. Ditto a packet of custard creams

4. Ditto a Big Mac

5. Ditto your sentences if you dick about for too long

6. That I will NEVER finish the book I’m working on (ten years, my friends, ten years so far…)

7. Ditto the diet I started in 1991

8. Ditto the project of making sure my kids aren’t utter arseholes

9. Ditto the VERY IMPORTANT point I’m making at 1am, loudly, in your face

10. Ditto Wolf Hall – the book

Ten things in life I can be sure of so far. Everything else is…jumble. I may, at some point, choose to move some of these certainties into the ‘jumbly’ category in an attempt to rearrange them from the ALWAYS to the NEVER list, or vice versa. At this point I will be in danger of becoming ‘self aware’ and may start posting inspirational quotes here. You must intervene immediately should this happen.

So I’ve called this blog The Daily Annagram as it is an attempt to get to grips with all the jumble out there. The fact I have used the word ‘daily’ is ambitious at best, bloody ridiculous in reality, but I do want to try and post something everyday, even if it’s just a quick paragraph, or a link, or a pic of my bum (which will be a blog-highlight).

Will you join me? And if you like it, would you invite the people you like to join me too? And if you hate it, perhaps you could invite the twats you know to suffer it instead…

To discover more about me, click on the ‘About’ thingy.

To discover more about you, don’t read this blog. It won’t help. I don’t know anything.